Monday, June 26, 2006

Ann Coulter is a Deadhead

Honestly, words fail me.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Golden Gatecrashers

We wound up at a house party last night held in a four-story post-industrial bachelor pad that must have metastisized off of Los Angeles at some point and bubbled up to the top of a hill in Pacific Heights. The downstairs living room, appropirated as a dance hall, had a pool running down its length with a thirty-foot movie screen set into the wall above. We never got concrete information about whose hospitatlity we were abusing. Having slipped past a preoccuppied bouncer with the square shoulders and distant looks of People Who Know Where They Are Going, we had to collect information discretely. Rumors circulated that this used to be mayor Gavin Newsom's house, that the summer sublet was costing its inhabitatns fifteen thousand dollars a month, and that pulling on one of the wall sconces triggered a secret door. When pressed, we would claim nebulous connections to "Steve" and mutter about a gallery opening. Thrilling, but being well-dressed and packed in among hundreds of other guests, we were never in any serious danger of ejection. Later, I was drafted to carry a keg by someone in a hat who seemed to be in charge. It could well have been Steve.

If I Was Canadian,

this survey tells me I would be an autonomous post-materialist. The description sounds pretty accurate, and it correctly identified Steve Jobs as an icon. So that was kind of impressive.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Market Segmentation?

The other day on the way to work I saw a homeless man pushing a shopping cart with a large, hand-scrawled sign on the front that read, "Liberalism is a mental disorder."

My first reaction was that this was a curious strategy in bluer-than-Massachusetts-blood San Francisco, where the vast majority of people he runs into will be liberals. Maybe the idea is to corner the conservatives-who-give-to-bums niche with a distinctive appeal? Maybe it's just to provoke a reaction and draw passers-by into conversation. Maybe it's a sincere reflection of political belief, begging strategy be damned.

Then it hit me - this man was literally asking for handouts.

Maybe the sign was ironic. It would work on so many levels.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Why Isn't India Good At Soccer?

Large population, former British colony (they invented the modern rules), has other sporting traditions from them (Cricket, e.g.). But my roommate tells me that Vikash Dhorasoo is the first player of Indian descent to play in a world cup. Even if that's not accurate, shouldn't you expect to see more Indian players internationally?

Monday, June 12, 2006

The Romero Effect

In high school a friend of mine told me he had been keeping a diary for a few months. "Looking back, I sound really unhappy."
"That's weird, you always look like you're having fun."
"I know. I don't feel unhappy."
"Maybe it's just that when you're out having a good time, you don't bother writing in your diary. Then you only write when there's nothing else to do, and you're bummed out."
"You know, you could be right."

Anyway, last week was great. My parents came to town and took me out to incredible dinners, I went to a free concert in Golden Gate Park, I watched a ton of well-played soccer and participated in lots of poorly-played beer pong. Good times.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Auspicious Beginnings

Today was my first day at Summer Employer. I got in the wrong elevator on my way up this morning, and was flying past the fifteenth floor by the time I realized there was no button to press to take me to my office. On the way home, I got on the bus going the wrong direction, and rode for ten minutes just to get back to the stop I'd got on at. Fortunately, everything outside of such transit-related matters went pretty well.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Party At Our Place

By the way, these Hint of Lime Tostitos? WAY more than a hint.

527s

Why do they even make jeans that aren't relaxed fit? I tried on a "regular" pair of Levi's and couldn't even sit down in them. And it's not like I'm trying to cram trunklike legs into there either - I'm built like a damn stop sign over here. How do people ever get the things on?

Also, if you run the Levi's store in Union square, in the commercial center of a major American city, you have no business running out of pants in my size. You're the jeans store. That's all you sell. You are, or should be, where I go when I want jeans and want to be sure you will have my kind. I am not happy you did not have pants for me. I need pants. I know this is San Francisco, but I can't just go around pantless.

Okay, glad you're with me on that.

Substitution

At Walgreens, they keep the Claritin tablets in one of those locked display cases "to keep [their] prices low." I didn't want to track down and summon one of their "team members," so i looked for a generic brand. Sure enough, there's Wal-itin right next to it on the shelf, same active ingredients and no protective case.

Those sly bastards. I'd be angry if I wasn't so damn impressed. Plus, it was almost half the cost, and so far works just as well.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Stealth Help

I was wandering around today, as part of my ongoing mission to stomp on every square of pavement in this town, when I stopped back home to find the front door open. Music was coming from inside. I crept up the steps to find a startled-looking Hispanic woman carrying laundry through the living room. How dare she! That was my mess. I'd already been feeling guilty about it, guilty enough to half-heartedly make my bed in the morning, and that was when I thought it was just mine. Now that somebody else was going to clean it up, I felt really bad.

Because apparently, we have a cleaning lady. One who not only vacuums and tidies up, but who washes my sheets too. Didn't hear about that from the roommates. This is crazy - I'm a twenty-three year old with a maid. Who does that? Already I can feel my self-reliance diminish as I allow one essential life skill to be handled by professionals. I don't want to be one of those people who aren't good for anything but signing the checks!

Still, it is nice to have clean floors. And she flipped over the cheap reversible throw rug I got at IKEA, and it really does look better this way.

Guarded Optimism

It's nice to see a rundown on Kos of ten reasons why Bilbray is toast in the runoff election in my hometown congressional district, but I'm not quite ready to believe the hype. After all, there is one big reason to expect that Cunningham's seat will go to another Republican.